Mom's View: The Power of One

This week was tough.  Last week was an autumn break for the Russian students (the upper grades and international students keep dancing).  Even one week off of dancing takes a toll on such carefully trained muscles, so Monday meant getting the boys back in shape.  On Tuesday, well,

**since I don't have anything nice to say, I musn't say anything at all.**

I will never understand this method of teaching.  Love and respect produces far better work than fear of a thug.  I do not want to remove difficulty from my children's lives.  In fact, I want them to learn how to deal with conflict and impossible people.  What I don't want is for my children to learn to lean on cruelty to produce results.

About this time, I got the following note from my son:

I miss church. I miss trees. I miss Rednecks. I miss Super 1. I miss late night Mountain Dew trips. I miss my room. I miss that stupid trailer. I miss Patches. I miss Americans. I miss uncles screaming about politics and conspiracy theories. I miss taste sensations. I miss pleas for George of the Jungle. I miss Sunday afternoon dinner. I miss Everything!

Many of the things he misses will only make sense to family, but you get the idea.  He was homesick and second-guessing all of his decisions.  Kuznetsov had succeeded in squashing any ego Isaac may have developed about his dancing, so even that hope and desire seemed naive.

Class was a little better Thursday and Friday, but he was till pretty down in the dumps.  Friday afternoon, he met up with two Church Education Missionaries to discuss Seminary options.  He took the metro, following their instructions, and stepped off at the indicated stop.

"It was like coming home," he said.

There they stood, a senior missionary couple, smiling and speaking English.

Elder and Sister Millar used to live in our hometown.  Justin and I knew them pretty well, but both of our parents knew them much better.  The fact that they were called to serve in Russia and precisely the time Isaac was also going to be there, was nothing less than providence.  As Sister Millar filled Isaac's hands and pockets with pumpkin cookies ("I don't know HOW she found pumpkin in Russia, but they were so good!"), they talked about Isaac's grandparents and aunts and uncles.  They then worked out a system for seminary and discussed the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  So much familiarity, delicious cookies and talking freely about the gospel worked as the Balm of Gilead on Isaac's soul.

Because of many scheduling conflicts, Isaac and I hadn't been able to talk for several days; we'd only been able to chat on Facebook for short, interrupted stints.  I knew he was struggling and, since I couldn't visit with him or go beat up his teacher, I had to put all of my faith and trust in Heavenly Father.

By Saturday afternoon, when we were finally able to Skype, the crisis had passed.

I was reminded once again that Isaac is the son of His Father, first and foremost.

Isn't it something how the words of one can do so much damage and the words of another can heal and comfort?

~Emily

**I have been asked to amend my post for the protection of the innocent.  Isaac was very quick to add that no matter what we think of his teacher's style, he could definitely see improvement in their dancing.  I still don't agree with the method, but it is hard to argue with results.

Marco Spada

Friday night I was scrolling through my Facebook for the last time after watching ballet videos with my Belgian roommate. I saw a post from one of my favorite dancers, David Hallberg.  He was inviting everyone to come see him perform at the Bolshoi Theater.

For those of you who don't know who he is, he is a principal with the American Ballet Theater (probably the best company in the USA), and the first Non-Russian dancer to dance with the Bolshoi Theater; a principal there as well. I clicked on the link and saw that Marco Spada was playing the following night at 7:30.

I asked my friend jokingly if he wanted to go with me. He said yes with a serious tone. We had heard the horror stories of getting tickets to a ballet at the Bolshoi Theater.  Getting tickets the day of was extremely difficult and the odds would not be in our favor. The only tickets that would be available the day of the show would be student tickets which are a great steal at only 100 rubles (about $3.00) but, again, very difficult to get. We had heard that we needed to get to the theater early (around 7 am) to get tickets. It was already 1 am, but we bit the bullet and set our alarm for 6:00.

When we woke we knew, we wanted to go see David Hallberg in the Bolshoi Theater. We quickly dressed and got permission to leave the academy. We arrived at the Bolshoi ticket building to find that it didn't open till 11:00. For four hours, we waited in line having had no breakfast and very little sleep to get our golden tickets. No books, music, games or anything to keep us distracted from the cold and boredom. Finally, we were in the building! 

It's no lie, Russians customer service is horrible and the workers were extremely rude!  We told  the ticket worker with our newly learned Russian words that we wanted tickets to the evening performance. Matinee has guest performers that are not nearly as good and the matinee performance is never as high quality of a performance. Plus, it didn't have David Hallberg. But no, she gave us tickets to the matinee and made us get out without another word. No use complaining; police were in the building.

We had already suffered so much and it was for nothing. But we were determined, we would somehow get tickets to that performance! We quickly went back to the dorm and showered and changed into our evening attire. We rode the metro back to the ticket building to wait in line . . . again. This time we were in the back of the line. Only 60 tickets are given for the students. From 2 o'clock, we went through the torture again. Dress clothing isn't always the warmest thing to wear and were freezing as the sun dropped at 5 o'clock. Toes were numb, nosed and ears burning, people cutting line, we almost gave up. But finally the doors opened again at 5:45 and we were in the building. We knew were going to be cutting it close and we did. We cut it very close.

We received the very last tickets to the performance!

We skipped and jumped out of that building like we had just won a billion dollars!

We went to a hot dog cart near red square and quickly got hot dogs and soda. I never ever tasted anything so exquisite in my life (we hadn't eaten yet that day)! We went to the Theater and were there at 6:30 with plenty of time. Getting into the building was easy and everyone inside was kind and thoughtful (amazing). We found our door with no trouble so we quickly hung our coats up and rented Opera Glasses

Finally, at 7:15, we walked into the Bolshoi Theater for the first time. It's a moment I will never forget. I cannot describe the beauty and richness of the theater. Nor can I completely describe the joy, love, accomplishment and happiness I felt. We found our seats and sure enough, we were in the fourth top ring, second row, last two seats. But again, that did not matter to us. We admired the beautiful chandelier and and art and golden lights as we awaited for the performance to start. (Luckily, there were some empty seats after the doors closed and we were able to change.)  After what seemed to be like forever, the lights dimmed and the live orchestra began playing.

And then, the curtain opened and I saw the Bolshoi Theater stage, the stage I felt like I almost knew from watching many many videos of performances on it. We sat in awe as we saw the dancers gracefully and beautifully glide across the huge stage. We saw not only David Hallberg, but many of the dancers I have seen so many times in my ballet video addiction. They are so much better live then they are in video. The dancers who were not playing the lead parts were just as good as the principals! Truly amazing.

It was fortunately a long ballet at 3 acts and we got to see several male solos and, let me say, I have never seen better dancing in my life.

My friend and I agreed we couldn't find one mistake throughout the entire performance.

From anyone.

It was simply perfect. That isn't something we as dancers say very often when criticizing a performance. Especially a 3 act Ballet!

After 3 hours of bliss, the curtain closed and the audience began clapping. The audience clapped for a very long time, the dancers came out at least 7 or 8 times to bow. By the last time they came to bow, many people had left, and  the backstage had already cleaned up the instruments and the ushers had finished picking up garbage. But the last 1/8 of the audience didn't want it to end. It was wonderful to see how much the people love and respect their ballet dancers. David Hallberg even waved at my friend and I one of the times! But finally it was over and it was time to go home.

It is over, but we don't want to leave!

After the performance we came back to the academy to find the doors locked. We waited banged on doors until we finally got inside. The housemothers gave us 5 raw hot dogs, and juice before we went to bed. It was a perfect ending, to an incredible day.

Isaac and Janos after watching ballet perfection:
David Hallberg!!

Mom's View: Prayers Coming His Way

Photo proposed and posed by the boy himself.
What truly matters.

One of the more remarkable things I have been witness to during the last few months is the outpouring of faith and prayers on behalf of my son.  From the beginning, I was hesitant to ask for donations, but one unexpected result of scores of individuals donating funds is that there are now scores of people with a vested interest in this random kid from Rathdrum.  Everywhere I go I am asked about Isaac, which thing is remarkable to me.  I've tried to never be one of those moms that is constantly bragging about my kids or trying to one-up other parents.  But, here we are; people ask and truly want to know.  It is a trick to be honest without feeling like a braggart.  

The best thing I've heard so far came tonight from a family at church.  Every night, when they pray for the missionaries (one of whom is their son), they also pray for Isaac.  

Since I get to hear about the miracles first hand, I know that those prayers of faith are being heard 

and answered.

From the full heart of one mother . . . Thank You!

My last post was read by many hundreds of people.  Miracle.

Mom's View: Curse the Money

Looking to his future with determination.

If only ballet were the sole focus of this grand adventure!  Alas, it is not so.  Tuition and room and board for the Bolshoi Ballet Academy is €2000 per month, paid in two installments.  The current exchange rate is about €1 = $1.40.  Therefore, in order for Isaac to continue in Russia, he has to pay for February-June by January 15th; a sum of $14,000.  This, of course, does not include the thousands of dollars required for medical tests, travel documents, travel itself and Isaac's basic expenses while in Russia.

To earn the money for the first half of the year, we begged for donations at a local street fair, sold AVON, Isaac danced at several local dance schools, held a spaghetti feed with Isaac as the as the night's entertainment, Isaac was interviewed by several news organizations to help spread the word, established a web site and a Go Fund Me site, I swallowed my pride and sent an email to friends and family asking for money, Isaac spoke at the local Lions Club, and Justin and I (and his five siblings) have given as much as our budget could possibly allow (we are still living in a 1970's single-wide trailer, for instance).

Our friends and family have been unbelievably generous!  People who have no business giving money, have given money.  Others donated tediously earned airline miles to transport Isaac to and from Moscow.  Friends have (and are) giving time, that ever valuable commodity, to aid in making Isaac's dream come true.  We have tapped out all of our known resources and have just accumulated enough to pay through January.

The great untapped source is businesses and corporations.  Most want to give to a not-for-profit charity so they can get the tax benefits of their donations.  You might be surprised to learn that it is rather expensive to receive that tax-exempt status.  We thought it was beyond us until my sister discovered a scholarship that provides an opportunity to put your organization under their tax umbrella.  We read through all of the qualifications and thought we were a shoe-in for the fund.  I'm afraid I placed all of my hopes in that basket--knowing we could solicit businesses would have made a huge difference for our fund-raising efforts!

Opening my email tonight, I discovered a reply from the organization.  With a quiver in my heart and a deep breath, I opened the email.

Isaac's request for non-profit status was denied.

My hopes are dashed.  I have no more ideas and really no more money.  Isaac's dreams of dancing at the Bolshoi Ballet Academy in Moscow, Russia are about to come to a screeching halt--unless we come up with another idea.  If it is the Lord's plan for Isaac to have had a taste of Russia and then come home to other things, we'll trust in Him and get used to the idea.  But, in so many ways, we feel like Isaac is having to leave just as he is getting started!

Please, does anyone have any more ideas?

What I need most of all, is hope.

Thank you!

Emily

PS  I know that most of you who follow this blog have already given all that you can and we are so thankful for your sacrifice!!

**Update:  We have received a massive private donation.  Though, we are still short of the required total, we have hope!!**

Moscow TV

One question we get a lot is about how ballet is viewed in Russia.  In Russia, as in much of Europe, ballet is extremely popular.  Many of the dancers are celebrities and ordinary Russians attend the ballet regularly.  On one of Isaac's first days at the Bolshoi, a camera crew came in to tape the boys and their teacher.  This is the  television program they were filming.  It is all in Russian, but I still thought it was interesting.

You can spot Isaac at 1:10 and, for a rather long spell, at 11:00.



Any Russian speakers out there who want to add subtitles for us?  :)

A Brief Tour of my Life

Moscow 2013

Q & A

Janos and Isaac
after class.

Having never been to Russia and knowing practically nothing about ballet, I had a lot of questions.  Here are some, with answers from Isaac in Green.

• What class are you in?   5B    
• How do the classes work, as far as level advancement?    For the first 5 classes it is mostly by age. The international students no matter your age must start in 5 or below. Since I am the age for 5th class I was placed in it. But if you're 16 or 17 it can be a bit of a drag.
• Do the boys and girls dance together?   Not really. There's no partnering till 6th year so we never have class together. 
• How many boys are in your class?  Seven.  
• How old are the other boys?  Fourteen and Fifteen.
• Where do you fit in in your class?   I feel right at home! The boys are very friendly and they all speak a bit of English so I've become friends with them.
• What is your schedule?      

7:30-8:00 Shower and dress
8:00-8:15 Breakfast
8:15-8:45 Personal stretch and class preparation
8:45-9:00 Preparation for class with teacher
9:00-10:40 Classical Technique      
11:00-12:30 Russian Language 
12:30-1:00 Lunch
Afternoons are different everyday. Some days we have Variations, Character  and Gymnastics.

• What do you do in your free time?   Watch movies with popcorn, go shopping, stretch,  do homework, watch Russian TV and sleep.
• Are you adapting to the unfamiliar diet?   Yes and no. However, The meals are very repetitive so even now I'm starting to get bored with the food. Hot cereal is served every morning with a plate of cold sausage and french bread. Lunch is soup with random vegetables and meats that don't always mix well. Dinner is sort of hit and miss. Buck wheat, noodles, pasta, soup and wafers.
• Is the Bolshoi Ballet Academy a good fit for your dancing style?  Definitely. The style is almost exactly the same. The only differences are small things that differ from teacher to teacher.         
• Do you think you are improving?  I'm seeing new things I can improve on. I only know that I've truly improved when I see a recent video of myself dancing.  
• How long have the other boys in your class been at Bolshoi?  Five years.
• Do all of the ballet students live at the school?  No. Most of the students live here in Moscow with their families. But 40% are from elsewhere and live at the school.
• Have you met anyone famous yet?    My teacher Ilya Kuznetsov! Also, I watched a master class with Nikolai Tsiskaridze the other day. He was a Principal with Bolshoi Theater and now he is director of the Vaganova Academy in St. Petersburg.        
• Who do you hope to meet or see dance? I would love to see anyone dance at the Bolshoi Theater. 
• There have been a lot of well-publicized, messy politics at the Bolshoi in recent years.  Has that affected you or any of the other students in any way?  No not really. The school is a sort of safe haven from the rest of the political drama.      
• What is your favorite moment so far?   Walking into the school doors for the first time. And seeing the hallway with all of the studios for the first time.

If you have questions you'd like to see answered here, ask Isaac on his contact form found here!

Mom's View: Finding His Place

Monday started out with a bang.  Kuznetsov had the boys doing about 1 million push-ups--and these are not push-ups like you and I do push-ups!  Sometime I'll have Isaac post a video of the men's ballet push-ups.  He then worked their legs by having them jump . . . and jump . . . and jump some more!  Janos' mother and I were conspiring to come and take our boys out of that mean school.  (Not really, but kind of.)

In addition to the terribly difficult ballet classes, the Russian language is giving Isaac fits.  He takes class for 1.5 hours every day, then has at least 3 hours of Russian homework.  I had been concerned about him neglecting schoolwork while he was in Russia for the year, but realize that he does not have any time to complete extra classes.  He may, after he gets a handle on the language, but we'll leave it for now. his education this year is definitely non-traditional, but is still education!

Homesickness struck this week.  Isaac's baby brother began eating solid foods and I posted pictures on my blog.  It is hard for all of us to have Isaac living so far away.

Two experiences of note:

After an especially difficult class, Isaac's teacher Ilya Kuznetsov, had the boys all sit down for a lecture.  He spoke in Russian so Isaac couldn't understand much of it.  Then, Kuznetsov turned to Isaac and Janos and said, "I'm hard because I care.  I was soft on my last class and they are bad.  They are weak and have no character."  This short explanation makes it so much easier to take the abuse!

Then, a few days later, they had a variations class.  Variations is when they learn or rehearse short (usually under 1 minute) solos from existing ballets.  A variation is what a person dances for competitions, so Isaac has a few under his belt.  He knows many, many more that he's never performed and many of those he's never danced for a teacher (again, with the YouTube addiction fascination).  Right off the bat, Kuznetsov asked Isaac to dance Coppelia, then straight into La Fille Mal Gardee, then straight into Don Quixote, then straight into two more.  Even though they are short, they are difficult.  Isaac was wiped out, but revived quickly when his teacher said, "You are NUTS when you dance!  I like that!"  Even the song of an angel wouldn't have sounded as sweet as those words.

He then gave Isaac the assignment of teaching the other boys how to do a menage*.  Yes, it took three weeks, but Stupid America is finding his place.

*For those of you who don't know, this is a video of Isaac doing a menage at a local park before he left for Russia.  He must not have done it exactly right.  I only know this because of his "shoot!" at the end.  





--Emily

Ballet Dancers in Their Free Time

My roommate and I had some free time in the evening and, lucky us, found an unlocked studio.  A rare treat!

We weren't stretched, classed or very warm so forgive us for our mistakes.  Just practicing!

Mom's View: Things Begin to Look Up

Unfortunately, Isaac has been bullied before.  You can't be a male ballet dancer and not have thick skin, so he is pretty tough.  I knew he would be fine and yet I ached for him.

On the positive side, Isaac was making friends and feeling welcomed by the other students.  His buddy Janos was feeling the pain in his own way, too; they were fighting the battle together.

Toward the beginning of the second week, Isaac was no longer Stupid America, he was just America--which was meant to be insulting.  It wasn't a huge stride, but it was a stride.  His teacher made a couple of semi-nice gestures like having Isaac demonstrate a step or a combination.  Every dancer has specific strengths and Isaac's is strength and power in the jumps and turns.  Kuznetsov began to recognize that and, though he wasn't complimentary, at least he wasn't mean.  During barre and at other times during class, however, the teacher said some horribly cruel things that would cut to the heart of any warm-blooded creature.  Isaac bore it all.  He told me because I made him, not because he needed to tattle.

Now, here's something funny.  Isaac has a Russian accent.  He has always been that person who picked up on accents quickly and, like his dad, he can mimic people well.  But I was surprised when he was already using the accent after only a handful of days.  Then, he explained his reason.  Janos' teacher in Belgium is Russian so he speaks English with a heavy Russian accent.  When Isaac spoke English to Janos, Janos couldn't understand him unless Isaac threw in the heavy Russian accent!  (It is like when a northerner visits the south, English begins to sound a lot different!)

On Friday, things were really beginning to look up.  Isaac heard the words Good America while at barre.

Then, the following chat on Facebook Saturday:

• 
  10/25, 11:56pm
  

  Emily Mattoon Sanders
  

  Okay. Really. How are you?
• 
  10/25, 11:57pm
  

  Isaac Sanders
  

  Fantastic. Class was good today. A lot of good Isaacs.
• 
  10/25, 11:57pm
  

  Emily Mattoon Sanders
  

  Oooh, he even knows your name now??
• 
  10/25, 11:57pm
  

  Isaac Sanders
  

  Yeah it's getting better much better. I can do this!
• 
  10/25, 11:57pm
  

  Emily Mattoon Sanders
  

  Tears just sprang to my eyes.

  I've been so worried about you.

  Confident, but worried.
• 
  10/26, 12:00am
  

  Isaac Sanders
  

  It really is getting better. I have good food in my room, Dinner and Breakfast are good, I'm making good friends who understand what I'm going through, the communication is getting easier and ballet class is becoming more enjoyable. Ballet is everywhere and church is tomorrow! This week has confirmed that this was definitely what I was supposed to do.
• 
  
• 
• 
  
• We're going to make it.  Both of us!
  With a lot of  help from Heaven.